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"It’s been so long since I’ve had sex I’ve forgotten who ties up whom." Joan Rivers You could be home boiling a pot of tea as you sit on...

"The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep." Margaret George Henry sats in de bar & was odd,...

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." George Carlin The Young British Soldier by Rudyard Kipling Final four verses When...

"All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy." Spike Milligan. A WANDERING BY SIEGFRIED SASSOON When Watkin shifts...

"It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat." Arnold Schwartzenegger She raises her head from the sea she lifts up her poll: she began her...

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." George Bernard Shaw Mark but this flea, and mark in this, How...

"It is difficult for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs." Thomas Hardy An inert...

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies." Mother Teresa Whose woods these are I think I know. His...

"Begin - to begin is half the work, let half still remain; again begin this, and thou wilt have finished." Marcus Aurelius Placed on this...

"If a piece of wood is at the bottom of the sea, should it still be considered combustible?" Some Stoic or other This is the weather the...